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If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
If you drink enough, your brain starts photo-shopping people.
Marriage is for quitters
Someone said to me earlier, "Your face looks very familiar". I said, "I know, I`ve had it a long time."
Feeling so good today ... High-five the person next to you and tell them it`s from me.
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
I`ve just been hit in the head with a werthers, and I thought........... That`s original!!!
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
Actually, when I went to New Orleans, I blacked out too.
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
If everyone would just be naughty next year, Santa would bring us all coal ... energy crisis solved!
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…