Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
Meditation never worked for me, so I tried something even better..."Beditation"! You lay down close your eyes and you wake up an hour and a half later!
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?