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I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
I had a Dr. appointment this morning. He asked me how many beers I drink. I held out my hand and said this one is only my 4th, I`ll call you back later with the total.
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I wonder what happens when a doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
Welcome to my bedroom,this is where the magic happens.....and by that I mean this is where I read my Harry Potter books.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
My misery likes tequila, not company.