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If it’s called tourist season, why can’t you shoot at them?
I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it`s taken me so long to reply to your text..."
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
Take me seriously at your own risk.
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...`That looks tasty, I`m gonna eat that.`