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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
And that`s when I realized, it wasn`t the hamburger who needed help, it was me
I pretend I don`t care but deep down I really still don`t care.
Per Wikipedia, there are two kinds of scorpions. One can sting and kill you like a spider, the other can sing and rock you like a hurricane
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
I`d share my Netflix login but I`m too embarrassed by "My List".
I think a good gauge of my personality is that I watch Homeland to relax.
That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
Anyone knows when is Facebook sending us the W-2 forms
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.
~WARNING~ I will more than likely offend you at some point in time
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!