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When I`m bored, nobody texts me. But as soon as I`m busy, BAM! ... still nobody texts me.
Didn’t have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
In a parallel alternate universe, my cat and my dog have jobs and I chill at home.
It’s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Truth is, it’s not a “long story”… I’m just too damn lazy to explain it.
When you`re tucking your kids in at night, read them a few select Facebook statuses, kiss them on the forehead and whisper "This is why we must stay in school."
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
My life is loosely based on a true story.
once you delete your birthday from Facebook, you realize no-one ever gave a sh!t about you all along!
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.