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We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
OMG! I just discovered that if I align them JUST right, that I can make your boobs stand straight up (just like the broom trick)! Message me for an appointment! ;)
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
Laughter is the best medicine, but if you are laughing for no reason, you might need medicine.
A sure cure for sea-sickness is to sit under a tree.