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I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d like to bring a guest.
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullsh!t I`ll put up with before I catch on.
that song on your iPod that you always skip but never delete.
Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
Only you can prevent bathroom mirror pictures.
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
"Sarcasm is a body`s natural defense against stupid."
My number was 0...