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How come know-it-alls, don`t know how annoying they are?
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
I like my women how I like my straws …. Bendy and full of liquor.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
It`s kind of weird that beams of electricity strike down from the sky and we`re all just okay with it.
I hate sneezing during sex, as it alerts the neighbours and lets them know I`m watching.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me.
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.