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And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
Guys, if my hair doesn`t look like a birds nest afterward, you`re doing it wrong.
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
I really respect people that don`t drink excessively, gamble, curse, do drugs, spend excessively, act irresponsibly and stay up late. And by "respect" I mean "don`t wanna hang out with"
"We`d be rich if you just said one f*cking word" - me, drunk, talking to my dog
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
That weirdo that comes into bars and tries to sell roses would make a lot more money if he sold tacos.
Being alive is so expensive.
I`m no magician but I can walk down the street and turn into a bar!
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands