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Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
Wine doesn`t have many vitamins. That`s why you have to drink a lot of it.
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
I bought my Ex a chair ... But the state won`t let me plug it in.
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Time to clean the house. Good thing I took that delegation class at work and I have 2 kids. This is going to be fun
If cats could talk, they`d probably always be correcting your grammar.
You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Be nice to me ... I may be hot one day.
The girl next door looks over at me, then her phone, then makes a disgusted look on her face. I think she`s just found my Facebook account
I feel like people who don`t have at least one bottle of expired salad dressing in the fridge, really have their lives together.