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If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
The Push Up ice cream company should just buy out Pringles and make all of our lives easier.
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
If I had a nickel for everytime I said, "If I had a nickel", I`d be rich.
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
My grocery cart right now says ā Iām getting drunk and doing laundry tonight!ā And also. āI like fruit.ā
scratch here Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦Ā¦ to reveal my status
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
C`mon Netflix, we both know I`m watching the next episode. Just go ahead and start it.
Why has no one invented a button next to snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?