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I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
I really love it when a hot girl winks at me with both eyes.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
I’m pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
It may look like I`m doing nothing, but I`m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”.
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."