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My Christmas tree smells like pine, and is hanging from the shift lever in my car.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
Sorry, I didn’t get your message because I deleted it without listening.
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
The best thing about having male genitals is sharing it with people who don`t.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
Your 15 second video will start after this 30 min. commercial...
My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She`s now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don`t negotiate with terrorists!!
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."