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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
i dont drink any more and yet again i dont any less either
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
Felt like being Bad today, like an Outlaw Bad, felt like doing something illegal, so I ran through the house ripping off all the Mattress Tags..... Come and get me Coppers, but you won`t take me alive.......................
I try to find the good in every situation. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
Apparently, when people say "I could use a hand" it doesn`t mean they want to get slapped in the face.
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
In an effort to explain marriage to my son I put Dora the Explorer on in Spanish and told him to figure it out or he sleeps on the couch.
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
I give up on life! I have better luck playing Monopoly...or Clue...
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis