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Got in touch with my inner self this morning. That`s the LAST time I buy single ply toilet paper.
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
thinks there are times when your the most beautiful girl in the world, and there are times when I’m sober.
My whole life consists of wondering whether or not to make the sarcastic comment.
I scream, You scream, We all scream, Because grandpa forgot his hearing aids again.
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
Note to self: Asking the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook status in no way helps you get out of a DUI.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well...my phone number for a start
Paintball is much more fun when the other people at Walmart don’t know we are playing.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."