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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I’m flattered.
I`m sorry call me old fashioned,but i think your shorts should be longer than your vagina...
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
We`re all here because we`re not all there...
Empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Scares the hell out of snooping house guests.
I`m as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
I`m the perfect man if you don`t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
I`ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.