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I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.
I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
"Should I add more liquor?" is the most ridiculous question I`ve ever been asked.
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
I have a life, I have the best life in the world. Oh wait sitting around watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls isn`t a life. I guess i was wrong then. :( bummer
Marriage is for quitters
I`m hearing voices again. Probably because my window is open and there are people outside talking, but still.
I don`t see the point of sex if the neighbours don`t hear it.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
I dream of a day when a mysterious hand will pop out of the screen and b!tch-slap you silly each time you post a boring or stupid status.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?