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Iād like to see the dollar store get a liquor license.
You had me at, "we`ll make it look like an accident."
Hi, im _____ but you could call me sexy.
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
Highschool Reunion? What for ? I`m on Facebook. I already know who got fat.
when a girl says "whatever" what she really means "I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark, and then eaten by it
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
Not sure yet why this cookie dough has baking instructions on the package.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
I think the Worst Part about admitting you are an Alcoholic ..is People expect you to Quit Drinking.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
My doctor said I need to workout with dumb-bells. Would any of you like to go jogging with me?
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!