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What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
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When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics.
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
I hate when I walk into the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.
Been there, done that. allegedly
“Hey baby, do you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
I haven`t gotten laid in so long, you`d swear I`ve been wearing Crocs all this time.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
Sorry, Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours