Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
The word “fireplace” really reveals the creativity of our ancestors
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things so literally.
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause and hot flashes. Men have to deal with women.
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
Fact: Turtles can breathe through their butts. And I thought I had bad morning breath.
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.