Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
Marriage: It`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I’d like to read a medication bottle that says “May Cause Multiple Orgasms”
There’s no “I” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
I thought she would duck officer- me checking the psychic`s ability
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
Pretty busy today. Was only able to check my phone 1400 times.
I`ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?