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The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
One of the most important things in life is perserverance. Hang on...perseveren...no, perserveer...pesever… oh, never mind.....
When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It`s only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
Don`t ever, ever EVER!!! Touch a crazy man`s food!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
Facebook is great! It reminds me to go to the gym and take my birth control so I don`t end up like everyone I went to high school with.
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?