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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
Beer and a 44 magnum with an everclear shot makes everything good like Nintendo
How do they put the "do not walk on the grass" signs up?
Stop screaming, lady. All I said was `this is how pornos start`. It`s just elevator talk.
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
Not quite feeling myself today. I`m going to see if booze helps...
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
I was called sexist today. So..i said i think ur mistaken...its pronounced sexy! LOL
Silence is Golden, unless you`re married.. Then Silence is Suspicious.
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!