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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
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Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
“Knock him out.” – Mama
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
I need to learn the rules to make sure I don`t accidently follow them
Sorry about last night texts. My phone was drunk.
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his happy place and throws it at the female octopus so she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new happy place. If that isn`t the most epic way to tell someone to go $*&# themselves, I don`t know what is!
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.