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You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
I`m a bad multitasker and even a questionable monotasker
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
Found out today your supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at waffle house....just trying to help.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
I hav 10 fingers bt i usd only.. the thumb to write this...!
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
"Oh my god, you`ve gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?" - my mom
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-