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I`m pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It`s just that most of them aren`t snitches.
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
I always see more people walking into Sam`s Club than out of Sam`s Club, but the meat`s cheap, so I don`t ask questions.
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they`d lock us up?
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.