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If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
You might call it ‘whipped.’ I call it `guy who’s getting laid.’
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime.
Can you make garlic bread out of frozen waffles? Asking for someone who wishes they had remembered garlic bread at the store.