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I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham
My 4yo just shut the bathroom door on me while I was inside and told me I was in jail. So I locked the door. I love this game.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
I have been tagged and poked so many times today, I may not be able to walk tomorrow.
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
It`s not really stalking if you don`t catch me doing it.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime.
I`ve finally decided to do something about my weight. Lie.
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"