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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
Law enforcement`s cracking down on texting while driving, but there`s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
My life is much more fun and interesting when I`m single... Problem is I can`t remember any of it.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can`t wait for someone to ask me for it!
If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
Nobody pissed me off today... I got to get out more.
I don’t understand why drunk me always seems to have more money than sober me.
Defies physics: I eat half a pound of food, `purge` 1 pound of it, and then gain five pounds because of it-- WTF?
So does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won`t share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Just kidding! I have no clue whose kid this is.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: