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Attempting to guilt me in to doing something, is the surest way to make sure it never happens.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
Everyday Iām shoveling. ā Winter 2014
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
I dont pay for cabs if Iām too drunk to drive. I find the nearest Dominos, order a pizza delivery to my house & ask for a ride home with it.
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
This post was going to be really funny but I didn`t write it down because I was totally sure I`d remember it.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.