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I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
You know how people dread going to the dentist? I feel that way about getting out of bed.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
Somehow the talk went a little wrong with my 7 year old and now he`s convinced that birds have sex with bees and now he won`t eat honey.
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
A true man is one who leaves his wife alone in cold weather and goes to watch football.
Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
The roof of the McDonalds in my town has 38 Pickle slices on it from times I ordered sh!t without pickles in it.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.