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If I don`t make at least one person scream, "WTF" then my day is not done yet.
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
Iām sick of closing out every job interview with āI was young. I needed the money.ā
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
How much do those guys who yell in the back of rap songs make? I could totally do that.
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
You know it`s way past your bed time when the 1-800-dial-a-hoe commercials come on.
I`m at an age where I no longer want to marry a doctor for his money, but rather for the prescription medications he can provide.
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It`s about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
Besides being curled up on the bathroom floor convinced I was dying from liver failure for a few hours, last night was fun.