Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when my camera rings, in the middle of a selfie.
The realization you`ve spoken too loudly when you exclaimed: " My Salad had NUTS!"
Insert coin to view my status message.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
"I just launched a new fragrance!" - a great way to announce a fart
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
Headaches are when the voices inside my head get into a fist fight.
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?