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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
I`m a really nice guy before you get to know me.
The voices in my head tell me not to listen to the voices in my head, and now I don`t know who to listen to anymore
At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it
We should really thank our Dads for bringing us into this world since our Moms were probably tired and not in the mood.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Got kicked out of Ziggy`s. " supposably" your not allowed to stand on their scales. Says I broke them. On the brighter side I weigh 135900 grams
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
It`s a bad sign when your credit card bill has a comma and your bank statement doesn`t!
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
Well, I`ve officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
The person before me got $0.57 worth of gas. My day doesn`t seem so bad now.