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Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
I`m hosting a wine tasting event in my home. Well, it`s not really an event. It`s just me and three bottles of wine. No one else is invited.
Today I seek some truth and fulfilment but I’ll settle for some bacon.
According to physics heat makes matter expand.....therefore I don`t have a weight problem....I`m just hot
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them