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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
I didn`t get your text (phrase) - I got your text, I was just too lazy to respond.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
Next time a guy asks for your number, write it down in Roman numerals. If he manages to call you, he`s a keeper.
Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
Trust me , as you get to know me , i just get weirder.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
I prefer to think outside the box because things can get very dark inside it.
When my dog sniffs another dog’s poop I can only assume that it’s their equivalent to checking a friend’s facebook page.