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I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
In a thousand years, archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
I have been delaying my computer updates an hour for the past 3 years.
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
There`s a lot of perks being a single parent, for one no witnesses.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
My life has a surprising lack of dance battles.
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza…
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.