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How do you know you`re old? ... Check your glove box for paper maps ...
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
I think the spork would have caught on better if they called it "a forkin` spoon!"
Yeah, I was dropped as a baby. Into a pool of sheer awesome.
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
I`m pretty sure even Santa wishes they would stop playing Christmas music on the radio this time of year.
Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.