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It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
My boss calls it a cubicle. I call it a happiness deprivation chamber.
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
If I have ten pieces of bacon and you take five pieces, what do you have? Thats right., A black eye and a broken hand!
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
why do i feel like you are reading this
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your ‘Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?