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What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
If you don`t have anything nice to say, say it anyway, `cause it might be really really funny.
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.