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People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
The best part about living in a small town is when I don`t know what I`m doing, someone else does.
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
Long time ago I used to be young and handsome.. Today? Just handsome
Anything can be considered your job if you hate it enough.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
I like candle lit dinners, romantic walks on the beach, and hardcore pornography.
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.