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We live in an era of smart phones and stupid people.
Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse.
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
If you play my workday backwards, it’s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
I saw the city workers putting up a sign on my street and it says Bumpy road ... so I put up a sign that says ,, FIX IT !
As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.
I never use the phrase, "Your guess is as good as mine" because, well... it`s not.
Its so cold out, I actually saw a gangsta with his pants UP!