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Most problems can be solved with nudity
I keep myself in just good enough shape to outrun most women and small children during emergencies.. :|
Your license plate should be your phone number... So when you drive like a dumbass, I can let you know about it.
Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money :)
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where is my phone?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch, dumba$$."
My cat’s gonna be homeless unless he comes up with something funny to post on YouTube.
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care