Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
I HATE it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. ..For the FIFTH time, I do not want to go to your cat`s birthday party. Damn it! ..My dog is getting married
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
Ummm,, Can we just admit we may have taken this anybody can grow up to be President thing a bit too far.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
I robbed a bank yesterday....now the question is, what to do with all that sperm....
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
Saw a brand new Prius totaled on my way home from work. Still had the window sticker. That would suck... Not to crash, but to drive a Prius.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
I hate when I`m about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.