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I have a confession to make. I was born with a rare disease called “Amazing.”
I went to the store and saw that Duracell batteries were on sale just before Valentine`s Day. Someone is a marketing genius.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for a week
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
Just watched (insert title of horror movie) and it wasn`t scary at all. The crap in my pants is a pure coincidence.
A procrastinator’s work is never done.
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.
At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.