Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the F#%K are you?
What if the stickers are the only thing Made In China?
Life is like a p@nis. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
Do you have to water a Pointsettia or do they die on their own?
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
facebooked yo mama!!!
From 8am until 12pm, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
Sorry, I can`t delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.
I`m honest, so when I say I took a "cat nap" that means that I slept for 18 hours and then pissed on your favorite shirt after I woke up.