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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
I slept with my best friend’s wife last night and now I feel terrible. …. ….. She must have given me a cold or something.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
The way dogs get excited when you throw a tennis ball is the way I feel about my first beer after work.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they’re being annoying little bastards.
Just spent 20 minutes on the treadmill without breaking into a sweat......tomorrow I might even switch it on!
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
Why is Charmin trying to get us comfortable with bears? HELLO THEY EAT PEOPLE
Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.