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I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Honestly, I`m so awesome that I wish I could meet myself and get my own autograph.
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim...that way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim every morning.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is BS!
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut