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is cuddling up with a good book and a cup of tea. Ah, who am I kidding... I´m looking at Hustler and having a beer.
Attention!! Today I am traveling back in time to right some wrongs in this world. You will know I succeeded if the Germans lost WW2 and that Thursday comes before Wednesday.
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
On my bucket list: To be chased through a kitchen at a Chinese restaurant like in the movies.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people.
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
I am hungry 25 hours a day
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.