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Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
Sometimes I don`t go big just so I can go home.
Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.
Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
There is no harm in imitating a porn movie. But stopping in between because you are imitating the buffering part (!), is unacceptable.
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
To my neighbor using a chainsaw at 7:30 on a Sunday morning: Try holding the other end.
It`s always the rednecks that know all the inner most conspiracies of the government.