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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
Laughter is the best medicine but if you are laughing without any reason, I think you need medicine
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.
Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?
Ladies: if you argue with your man naked, you will win every single time.
I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
I hope Iām the last guy on earth ā I wanna see if all those women were lying to me.
I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.