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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
If my job was to make health questionnaires, I`d slip in random stuff like "How fast can you run backwards?"
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.
I wasn`t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I really feel about you!
As I slowly ran my finger down her G string I thought to myself, this is a nice guitar.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.